Why I say it again when nobody answers right away
You said your sentence. Nobody answers, so you say it again, a bit differently, a bit smaller.
It lasts two seconds, maybe three. The other person is looking for words, or at their glass, or still taking it in. You hear a silence that means something. So you add "I mean, I'm just saying", or "it's fine, it's just that". You take your sentence back so it's easier to receive. And on the way home, what you remember most is the second version, the one that already didn't quite say what you meant. I can see that second very well.
Underneath, there is often the idea that a silence is an answer, and not a good one. Most of the time, though, the other person is still thinking. What it costs: the first sentence, the real one, stays in your mouth, and the trimmed version is what goes into the conversation. That's the one they answer, not you.
By the second version, you already don't quite say what you meant to say.
I was wondering…
What do you hear in the silence that makes you say it smaller?