Why do I always end up with people who make me feel like the problem
It's late, and in your head you're writing an apology for a sentence you may have said wrong.
At the start it was the opposite: the other person looked at you like the best thing all year, and you finally felt you mattered. Then it turned, slowly. A remark about your tone, a silence that lasts until you say sorry. You hear your own voice say “you're right, I should have put it differently” before you've understood what just happened. The seriousness you bring to finding your fault touches me.
Maybe that's the pattern: what comes back isn't the same face, it's the place you're left, the one for someone who has to prove they're not too sensitive, not too needy. And the more you look for what you did wrong, the less you ask what you're living. Does that sound familiar?
You look for your fault with a seriousness nobody asked of you.
I was wondering…
What stops feeling safe, the moment none of it turns out to be your fault?